1st of June and crying

I should have been very busy working on my romantic poem when the world suddenly brought me back into the past and ruin my supposed plans for this afternoon. I run to the lord again, In tears and in despair. I truly, madly asked Him why:

Lord,

 why do I always feel like this, trap, drowned and down in times when I already found myself a little hope? When will I ever be truly  happy again? When can I possibly get out of this massive darkness? I want to see the light , be there, stay there, live there. I just want to see myself moved on Lord, I dont want to judge the past any longer, I dont want to lived with all the hatred and burden and sorrow in this world. I just want to forget them, be happy and start over. :( Your love is untimely as well as your plans and your miracles, I am not rushing you. I am not asking you to make things easier for me nor question You and your desired plans for me. I just can't help but cry and ask why. Please show me the answers, Im in despair:(

These are not the exact same words that I actually told God in a queer silence. Just like How I used to, I checked His words again and tried to find the answers for myself: Words and photos via searchquotes.com:

One thing that we must all endure through in our lives is disappointment. If we had our way all of the time, life would not really have much zest. One of the things that makes life really worth living is problem solving, and figuring out how to make our lives the lives that we truly desire to live.

If we choose to let our disappointments stop us from living the life we know that God has destined for us to live, then we choose to let disappointment ruin us.

God always has a plan for our lives, but he does let us choose whether or not we will follow his direction or not. Continue to walk in faith, and disappointment will no longer hinder your life from being the great life it should be, and the great life that it will be if you just continue to be patient, and if you continue to believe.

There are so many things wrong with every single one of us, and we should know that we are all without flaw. There is only one truly righteous judge, and that is the lord of the Heavens. When we put ourselves in situations in which we show judgment upon others, we start to realize that as quickly as we open up the scope of judgment on others, others will be quick to judge us as well.

Instead of worrying about what problems we see in other people, we should focus on trying to help people become better in non-judgmental fashion. Trying to help someone by showing him or her your judgmental attitude will do nothing but discourage that person from help that they very well may have needed.

Even God doesn't judge us until we are gone, so why should you and I judge each other while we are here?

There are two things that you can do in tough situations. Either you can worry about them, or you can pray. It really is hard to do both, because when you do one, you are showing that you believe in it. If you show that are worried, you show that you believe that there is a chance that the worst possible scenario will play out. When you pray, and when you don't obsess, you show that you believe Gods word, and what he said.

Instead of giving focus to the bad, and potentially bad things that may happen in your life, it is time to walk in faith and truly believe without any ounce of doubt that God will work things out for the best. Remember when you put your faith in God, he will put his faith into you! Stop giving ground to worry, to obsession, and lack, walk in faith today!

A lot of times we allow life and its stressors to take us to points in which we just shut down, lose hope, and lose faith, instead of allowing ourselves to continue in the pace, and in the direction that God wants to take us.

The reality in each situation that we face is that God's wisdom is always there for us to feed on, even in times we feel alone, lost, and misguided. When you just allow yourself to let go of the wheel, and trust that God is going to take control of the spiritual vehicle you are driving, then supernatural things will start to happen in your life.

Many don't realize the power of making the decision of whether to truly believe, and to not worry, not fret, and live a life full of God's guidance instead of their own. Be committed to the belief that God will take care of situations that you simply can't, be consistent with this belief, and God will consistently work inside of you.

We are a result of our choices, and the places we are in life aren't always explainable by human logic. Did you know that God has a plan for your life? Did you know that even though sometimes we may be making the worst of choices, that we may still end up in the right place, if we just allow ourselves to let go of the wheel at some point and let God steer us.

Sometimes the wrong choices will bring us to the right places, and these right places may be just enough to change our lives. For example, many criminals are put in jail and get put in the right situation to change their lives, while others are put in jail and just continue to rot there for most of their lifetime. For some, jail, for a few wrong choices is the right place to change their life, and for others, it simply may not be. When we become more proactive versus being so reactive to stimuli in life, we can make the best out of almost any situation.

Though I still feel a bit worried right now (which I think is normal since we can't just make one's mind poof ,be happy again) I think the above statements justly answered my questions. I feel a bit happy and comforted right now. After weeks of pulling off these tears,  I finally had the strength to I let it out and the words, Just God's words , everything right now, its calming.