My life is nothing but a waste.
It had only been about me, scarcely walking,
crawling maybe away from our building, carrying an enormous bulked of burden
behind my back and the yellow sheets , yes the yellow sheets and the magical
pricey pen that is almost out of tint. By the time I got home, I always
rush in front of the computer, try to
finish everything before the dues, do advance reading for my major, advance reading
for my minor and get my ass up for another 5-hour sleep and be dull the next
day.
My life is unhappy.
So I get up, do the typical routine, get
into the car, get into the building, write things, solve things, analyze
things, get things right, pretend that I’m happy I got it right, walk home, go
home and try to treat myself again with another bowl of carbs and do the dues again.
What a life.
I still check my to-do list during my off days just so I could divide my life from the so called life, piled up dues and another piled up dues for the coming week.
What a life.
I still check my to-do list during my off days just so I could divide my life from the so called life, piled up dues and another piled up dues for the coming week.
What I realize today at 8:37 pm, no,
8:10, is that I had been going in and out of the swc office just to pick up a
little piece of paper, decipher the message and go straight home. It was just
this week when we had another snack bite moment and a helpful piece of crap
that says, Winners forget that they are in the race and that they just love to
run. I wondered for a bit and threw the paper right after.
It was just last week when I was able
to ask myself about my now and my tomorrow. Will I be happy to see myself sitting
on a seat that is soft but gloomy and high but boring?
The answer is no.
Before this was even taken, I
promised myself never to miss a single moment or a day to write about the
cynical girl and her morbid thoughts. Because of the chain and all, I have lost my faith in
writing. Even the things I write now are the notes, the research and the plans
that I don’t read.
It is sad.
Right now I have tasks to
finish, one for the major,a long one, the yellow sheets that I was talking about, a minor assignment
containing graphs and such, conceptualization
for the mtv I was assigned to pass next week, baby thesis, photo to edit and a
whole lot more yet I am stuck, contemplating on whether I should finish
every single bit of them or just let the dates pass.
