Arte ain't artsy

The dappled tree

So I dashed through the halls of my sanctuary and tried to escape its chaotic ambiance. I run outside and passed through a narrow path. I feel naked so I tried to run more and hide. In front of me was a dappled tree.  I stopped and stand underneath its sturdy branches as I watched the world move on a kaleidoscope.  It was a messy place, diverse, everything seems cluttered until  I got a knock from my behind. The blaring figure in front of me suddenly stopped as it swiftly blurred and calmed.. the world, the time and all the slip-ups ..they stopped, everything stopped, everything but you.

You are a stranger, a beautiful stranger.

You have a precious eyes, the sweetest voice and the nicest heart

The eyes that see nothing but a glittering stone, a voice that speaks about the meekest truth and a heart that bears the nicest fruits

That sweet,enticing smile made me feel anxious. I tucked my hair behind my ears and tried to fix that bulky coat covering my face. There was a follow up question that made me feel more tensed and chilly  “where are you going?”. 

Nowhere. Nowhere really.

But I gobbled everything up to answer with “nowhere. Just waiting” I know with what I said, there was still something within me that still anticipates for that another bulk of chances. It was very tiring. With all the running and hiding, I noticed that the world will do nothing but force me to run not towards but to the place where I once dwelled upon and over, my sanctuary.

The place was a dark, cold asylum with a little spec of light passing through its smallest window.  It used to be the nicest place I know. The nicest place on earth. It was a happy place filled with hopes probably dreams and chances. I didn’t know how the loudest cheers suddenly deemed down but as the lights wavered, sweet ambiance lowered.. I felt as if I have to break the strongest walls present on my cage, wreck what hinders and pull off the beautiful face of the world.

I walked myself out and tried to diminish the memories of the history.

I run I hid I stopped. The universe suddenly crumbled and made a way out for me and my sanctuary to fall apart……….(for us to later on fall together). So the world stopped as I did and right now as we humbly exchange our tamest sentiments.. I believe that there could only be two reasons why the “now” exist:

One is for you to stand and wait there with me and two is for you to tell me to stop waiting because you’re already there.

We could watch the rain pour down but we can walk the muddy roads as it rains, you can stand there with me and wait but you can hold my hand as we drift away from the dappled tree.

There are things, there could only be two things. And if we could only allow ourselves and the chances to grows, if we could only destroy the boulders that binds  our histories and if we could only get the courage to drift away from the dappled tree.. then.. everything will be as good as great

My cup of tea

Did this for about 20 minutes. I guess this is what happens to people when they're inspired. haha, Requested by the way lol:

As the flowers blossom in the midst of spring,

As my starving paunch longs for a pint of swill,

Without a flicker nor a blink,

There it goes, my cup of tea

As I start to change the fate’s desire

When the thunders growl in the heaven up-high,

The bitter-sweet steam of love and bliss

Cover’s the chills and lingers the thrill

As the flowers gently wither,

angry  thunders slowly tame,

though the time had flown its way

and the leaves  turned ash and gray

Lifeless colors, countless dust

With a single light shining above

when the world seems dead

and the clock strikes 12

there it goes, my cup of tea 

Yeehaw!

Very ARTiculate

Art is about what you see, what you touch, what you hear and what you feel. Art is a sentiment that could be  both fascinating and repulsive at the same time. Art is a mere sensation of bliss and misery, it is a thinking that justly signifies how a flesh could perceive the essence of a flesh. Science on the other hand is impassive. It is dead, it is dull but it is sensible. It is methodological and it can be impartially explained with a bucket of intelligence, for short, it is the most significant evidence for existence.

The question is how can art be the art of senses

and how can science be a science of reasoning?

Aren't anyone's' feelings dependable enough to justify the hypothesis of life? Doesn't art include the coherent thinking of humanity? How can science be a confirmation not a theory? Are everything studied, solved and equated be a righteous assertion to the right paths of life?

Well, Science can prove everything with the perception of the mind but the art which revolves around the act of discerning clearly denotes that the science of science is an art of art as well.

The unhappy heart

What I wrote on my journal last night:

The thing is that I like you  but feelings are not enough reason to hold on. My emotions are far beyond reliable and I dont think that it is enough for me to justify my confusions. Im not sure if I am scared or I'm just not risky enough to tie myself up again. I dont want to gamble everything that has been amassed, I dont want to lose nor gain anything, To be a bit more precise, I dont want to have anything but my God, my family and my friends . There are things that I badly want to ask why like How can some people swear on a place that does not revolve on a constant phase?  How can some people actually assert that they can endure everything in the name of 'love' when love as it is is unconquerable? Why do some people still take the risk of loving and taking chances notwithstanding the anguish they feel? Cant we all just lay down, relax and look at the wonderful things the world has to show? Can't we just smile and praise God for He has given us all the odds to be happy again? Why look for something that will only turn your world upside down? Why say forever when forever in the first place doesnt exist for this world is not undying? Think about it. I dont have an impulsive heart, I just think that it is better to stay away from grief and sorrow than look for a remedy to cure an unhappy heart

Tangled

Rapunzel: I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?

Flynn Rider: It will be.

Rapunzel: And what if it is? What do I do then?

Flynn Rider: Well,that's the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.

SWEET FREAKS( my msg to my beast friends who celebrated my birthday)

SO THIS WAS SO UNEXPECTED!

I dont really know how to say this right, but I really feel so touched and blessed to have all of you in my life way deep down. You were asking me to say something dramatically peculiar that time but i didnt because..duh 

but here's what I have to say

I love you all and thank you for considering that awkward phase in my life. Seriously, before I ended up being gruesomely humiliated by you (haha) my thoughts were all about the blessed father bacchuber. No seriously, i was not thinking about or worrying about anything at all (considering that we have 3 quizzes that day) well. yabang, haha. joke. I know how dumb-founded but still pretty , lol) I am most of the time and that is because I am always too busy counting all the blessings that i have in my life .  That of course includes all of you. I never really had an awesome experience much likely and it was very heart tugging and i couldnt say more basta it was all unexpected for real and until now di ako maka move on. haha. I know how tough this course is, we all know that. But I love you guys cause i can't see the pressure from those funny faces of yours. parang chill chill lang and its nakakahawa and i dont want us to change that. I swear we're gonna graduate, all of us , without the world turning us into a bunch beast freaking nerds. You know what I mean? lol, I LOVE BSA14-- the thing we call ourselves when people praise our smarty pants and BSA18-- the thing we usually call ourselves kapag wild tayo and napapagalitan. Dont change people ha, or else im gonna peltok your batoks. haha 

I'll end the night with this..

Since I am very inspired to write again, I typed these lines the other night. lol. :

''I just can't see a bright future with that person. I love her, I really do. But I just can't be with her, there's just love, emotions and feelings and I guess those factors are not enough to feed me.  she likes what she is now, she's contented with what she is now, She's devoted with what she is now and I dont like that. I dont want to change someone for the benefit of me. I dont want to see myself walking on the street with her forever. I have this dream and its good that I top them out of the list.''

Huhu. And I obviously am not the 1st person. I used a guy okay? :(

1st of June and crying

I should have been very busy working on my romantic poem when the world suddenly brought me back into the past and ruin my supposed plans for this afternoon. I run to the lord again, In tears and in despair. I truly, madly asked Him why:

Lord,

 why do I always feel like this, trap, drowned and down in times when I already found myself a little hope? When will I ever be truly  happy again? When can I possibly get out of this massive darkness? I want to see the light , be there, stay there, live there. I just want to see myself moved on Lord, I dont want to judge the past any longer, I dont want to lived with all the hatred and burden and sorrow in this world. I just want to forget them, be happy and start over. :( Your love is untimely as well as your plans and your miracles, I am not rushing you. I am not asking you to make things easier for me nor question You and your desired plans for me. I just can't help but cry and ask why. Please show me the answers, Im in despair:(

These are not the exact same words that I actually told God in a queer silence. Just like How I used to, I checked His words again and tried to find the answers for myself: Words and photos via searchquotes.com:

Fashion Pegs 101: The Good Bye Summer Outfit!

I am trying to make a story behind the title and the outfit but I can't juice my thinking cells right now. I think for now, I will have to keep this blog updated with something decent.

I think I'm depressed huhu

I am contemplating between the existence of a sub standard human robot and a plain-reckless, cold-hearted wheeler in my life. Im just wondering how some people could take the guilt of putting the blame on a person he or she reluctantly wheeled on for once. I am not a saint nor an angel. I dont always do the good things.I am tempted, I am mean but I guess the existence of flaws are very necessary in life. 

Mistakes can be damn up roaring sometimes but theres a fine line between doing the very same mistake for a good reason and doing it again for the bad.

 I frankly do and say the ever cruelest words  but I never really did come to a point where I intentionally jerked over other people’s feelings. I can be less sentimental at most times but feelings are very important to me.Thus, Its not so fair to allow people no matter how worthy they think they are to jerk up my own built. I let people handle me up to the top and down to the bottom and though expected, its not very ideal for me to feel oppress on and after the process. Nobody does. 

Ube and Mustard

1. BANGLES

   , 

   SM ACCESORIES 

   , in JEWELRY

2. SHOULDER POUCH

   , 

   MANGO 

   , 

   MANGO 

   , in MANGO BAGS

3. MUSTARD SHORT

   , 

   JRC FASHION CLICKS 

   , in SHORTS

4. WHITE TURTLE NECK

   , 

   PREPPY 

   , in TOPS

5. PURPLE WEDGE

   , 

   PARISIAN 

   , 

   PARISIAN 

   , in HEELS & WEDGES

Top 10 Girl Crushes

Hello there! I had been thinking a lot about making it a habit to post at least one dilemma for a day. Its weird I know, but doesn't it feel great to just make yourself feel extra gloomy for the chill weather?:)) Haha Its like sitting on a pretty comfy couch and grabbing a cup of hot chocolate--the feeels. haha anyway before I begin, I would like to say that I love and hate--mostly love this perfectly created beings on earth. Love them because they inspire me, hate them because they're not me. Thats the dilemma, the inferiority feeling. Its sucks to feel that way. Its weird but here it is anyway, my positive sort of dilemma for today

Thoughts on Paper

It had been an odd habit of mine to write down all the things that randomly pop into my head before I bag out an awesome shuteye. Here are the ugly thoughts that I wrote last night. (sorry for my words):

I have all these morbid thoughts and i want them to get out of me. Its affecting me, the whole part of me as if its spreading. Its Killing Me! You're killing me! Its disturbing me, its distracting me. I want to get out of this house, go anywhere else and scream!

Its so stupid

Im so stupid!

 Every night before I go to sleep, I try to blink as many times as I could to get these two balls exhausted. I think its way beyond stupid. I want to kill somebody.. I want to hurt somebody because I'm ridiculously hurt right now. i want you to feel the same way. I think I just got to , want to kill that ugly person i see in you. You're very immature. I thought you were the stronger, the smarter and the better person between us. But gaaaah you threw it all away!  I  hate how i always goo -- yeah I hate you, but I just have to check and see if you're okay. You know how painful it is for me to see that it is all gone now. I hate how we let each other burn. i hate how we grew cold despite all those painful buuurns.  we blew it all off and its all gone now. I horribly feel invisible again. Like im slowly vanishing in a thin piece of air. im suffocating and i cant get out.

  I know this had gone pretty long, pretty stupid and pretty random. and with all the dozen thorns i have in me, I just got to say that i want an awesome 8 hours of sleep. this should end, these should all end. 

I wrote it all like an old drunk man last night. worth it though cos i had an awesome sleep.. I dont know why but I guess what i wrote right there defy the actual me that only i can see, hurt and full words. But I love it, I love how it is. I love me.

Very random

A photo taken at Singapore.. I am Pinay by the way.

Fashion Pegs 101: Orientation Outfit

Hey girls! Few weeks more and its off to college! Let me share you my college outfit pegs for this coming school year.

Today's trend? Orientation Outfit

Its a new school, a new life and a new you. You may be pretty hook up with all the Mitch Albom , JK Rowling stuffs back in your HS and you do prefer the less-visible look. I think now's the right time to change that, stand up and make yourself shine. Here's the perfect look I know to make an awesome impression on your first day.

The SG Food Attack!

Lets pigged out and turn my blab blog to food porn! Chow down and feel free to gobble up the yummy delis we've eaten at Singapore.

(Not enough captions and reviews for reasons )

Kopitiam Restaurant:

Fish soup/Fish head

New meat, dreams and a bucket full of related stuffs

Hi guys! I dont know if anyone of you, human beings, really make an effort to read this blog but I think I just have to say something about College. So whats up with college anyway?

I am an incoming BS Accountancy freshie at De La Salle University this coming June. Everything's okay na, I mean the enrolling process, payments, medical stuffs and all sorts.Anyway,  I guess it'll be pretty much interesting if I tell you how in the world I stumbled upon such course.

I am not a math wizard, geek or whatever you call them---Those people who can answer an ax bx cx =y equation in a snap. (If you know what I mean). As you can see, I like math equally. I honestly am not a sucker at trigo and algeb , but geom (yes, I am). The point is I like the uncomplicated version of math better , I enjoy solving algebra and trigo but I still prefer everything without the existence of alphabets. I dont like looking for x...ex... exxxx and exxxxxx lol. cos why the hell do we even have to do that right? Its like proving something highly intellectual but uninteresting. Proves no good point for me. (i hate to testify something beyond cruelty but yeah)

 Anyway before I finally decided to choose this course, I planned to do something in the field of writing . As you can see, I love expressing myself through writing but I think I'll get bored doing that fine stuff for the rest of my boring existence. I dump that,and thought about a field on engineering. (I know right, what the hell)

So this is why, My family is a group of engineers and architects. Most of them are good at  math,all of them siguro except for me. I dont want to be in a different boat so I thought about spending the rest of my life being boring and....yes, engineering could be the best adjective. I''ll grow old and grow bored so I decided to changed that and be on the field of medicine instead. But wth , is the tuition fee mas mahal pa sa buhay ko and I am not the most affectionate type of person you'll know and I believe na I'll do no good on poor human beings health.  so nahhh

One of my biggest dreams kasi is to become one of this country's well known ambassador. Yes, I dream within the impossible. An artista can be like that, they can be an ambassador without even paying so much tuition fees, so yeah that was the reason why I ended up deciding to do mathhh and pagaartista. Lol joke, pag aartista no but yeah, I ditch that dream for certain reasons.

Lately, I started thinking that with all the big dreams I listed on my journal, none of those course would clearly suffice them all. I needed to be more certain to become what I wanted to be. So What do I really want to be?

I can see myself working on a big company, very corporate-ish and sosyal! I want to have my own coffee shop merged with cupcaake goodies as well. I want to assess big events for people and get known for that as a sideline. I really wanted people to know me because of how I think and act, I want them to be surprise about how smart my ass is. I dont want to be known as the  pretty smirking chic (wow) na all I can do is make pacute with all the boys I know.

That's the time when I realized na that's it, I like selling things and I want to be the boss of my own. I want to work on a big company , or any company as a starter, look corporate-ish enough and well respected. But In order for me to be really good with selling, talking aand organizing events. I have to know how to play the money right first! That's when I realized na yeah, I can be an accountant and a business person all at the same time! Not marketing, business management or any other courses other than that would help me get through life's dreadful suffocation. (ew words)

 I think I did a lot of talking here but I guess that's it , that's how. haha ,I think the course is flexible enough na for my dreams , regarding having a mini coffee shop business and being an event organizer, I found out that there are short courses related to that on tesda which, I could take naman on my break. so long and not even worth it but thanks for reading

 take care

To my past, To my present, and To my future

I feel as if I'm lying on an entire cloud nine these past few days. I realized that my hands could get into something and anything much better now that I finally gave myself a chance to. Since I am officially committing myself towards my goal, I decided to say a little something to what I once did, to what I am doing and to what I am about to do. Crazy but here it goes.

Blissful loops and a bundle of joy: In the Making

After reading tons of constructive articles over the net, I decided to make another blog containing all the positive vibes in me! To be completely honest with you, I dont really talk with a whole bunch of sense unlike all the other bloggers we know (so expect less). For me, I talk and I blog because I want to share the tiniest and the littlest specs of happiness in my life.

So to begin with why I made a new one, I decided to make this blog as a sign of how I anticipate for something  better in my life. I know I have a good life back then but life as it is has to be a little bit more than just good. So right now Im embracing and expecting something better. Maybe a new car or a new cat ( we'll never know) basta you'll see it all guys here, on my new and on my better blog. All happiness indeed.

Second, I'd clinched for such title because I realized that most people , honestly I , as well, find it so hard to find the good thing about being in the loop of life. By that I mean, no matter how crucial we think our downfall is, we still have to seek for something good about it. We only live once so we have to make the most out of it. Erase the negativity and embrace the positivity. That's life, thats how it roll.

Right now, I got over something slightly icky but it truthfully made a very huge impact in my life. At this point, I can talk na with lots of pride and happiness and I guess I could share all that to you in a very helpful sense. So there join me as I write with bliss.

Take care! :)